The Night at the Museum

Kyla	It was  skre night at the Museum. The mummy’ s name is   wyla She  is from Egypt. The mummy is wrapped in dirty bandages  and has broken out  of the sarcophagus. She  had a party and a disco and mosek and everyone at the museum by the cev. The	1.9 Good start Kyla. Please try and get some more done next time. I like how you have described your character.
Saia	smach. The trophy  fell   on the ground. I am a army officer I wear a black hat and carry a  backpack with medical stuff.  I am from the American civil war,   my name is David.  My  rifle is in my hand. A sword hangs from my belt.  I hold the American flag and am wearing dark blue uniform.  I went to see the previous earthquake information then the mummy  came  for me. She was chasing me.  Down the stairs I went  running to get   away from the mummy.  We had  a party in the cave  then the sun came out I went in  my  exhibit  were the American civil war are.	1.9 I really like the hook you have used Saia. It made me want to keep reading. Once you have finished your writing, maybe you could try and change the way you start some of your sentences. (So they don’t all start with ‘I’).
Warrick	Crash. I  broke out of my exhibit. I am a mummy.  I were dark and bloody ban grids wrapped around all of my body. My name is Tutankhamun.  I have been dead for 100 years. I am from Egypt. I have been finding the way out of the museum. As i was running down the stars and i heard footsteps and i looked around the corner and i seen a man eating a egg I went a bit closer to the men  he turned around and he groped the egg and grasped a spear and he was chasing me. I ran as fast as I cud I could not get away for him he was to fast for me. The mawe puros ran away. I looked out of the window and I saw the moon going down. I ran back to my exhibit and when I got into my exhibit It was night so I fross.	1.9 Great hook Warrick! It made me want to keep reading your story! You have some very long sentences, could you have a read and add some full stops.
Nykachia	One cold dark night I  ran out of the museum very quietly. Then I went back to the dark  museum. My name is Cleopatra. I am wearing silver  Egyptian clothes and I wear a headdress made of gold. I saw a Maori ran past and tried to hurt me with his weapon made of wood. He was hunting to catch food. I quickly went outside then when I came back I went in the museum and quickly went inside my   sarcophagus. I had a disco party in the museum and a mommy was there and the dinosaur was there too I was having a party there, I was having fun, the party was in the museum.	1.9 Good girl Nykachia. I really like how you have described your character.
Lola	Museum I went to the museum. I saw a moa bird,a moa egg. I saw some maori people and one egyptian mummy. I saw one big bird, his big wings were two meters long. I also saw the ancient Chinese clothes and New Zealand ancient clothes.	1.9 Well done Lola! You have done a great job so far.  :)
Rican